10 Ways To Blow An Interview
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Note: This is a humorous look at what not to do in an interview.

Interviews. It’s pressing the flesh and running for office. It’s a first date. It’s talking to a complete stranger. Sweat comes out of glands you didn’t know you had.

Relax. It’s probably easier to just blow it off. If you want to know how to blow an interview, take any or all of the following actions:

  1. Don’t prepare. Your intention to be spontaneous is important. Let them tell you what they do to see if you are interested.

  2. Show up early. Coming into the lobby 30 minutes ahead of time makes you the early bird that ate the worm. Besides, you can draw attention to yourself when you are picked up for loitering (they won’t forget you).

  3. Take control of the interview. Let them know you are a take charge kind of person. Don’t surrender, take it!

  4. Tell them everything. You want them to know everything so they can hire all of you. Ignore what they think is important.

  5. Look down and look up. The answers are on the floor where you dropped your crib sheet (or perhaps written on the ceiling).

  6. Trash your old boss. Everyone in your group didn’t like him so it’s public knowledge right? And you were right, right?

  7. When in doubt bluff. If you don’t know the answer, give them something for crying out loud.

  8. Show desperation. You really need this job because you have been out of work. It’s in the eyes.

  9. Take notes throughout the interview. It will show them that you have retained good note taking skills that you honed in school. Writing notes in triplicate is a nice touch (leave them a copy).

  10. Don’t ask questions. It makes you look stupid. You are just too smart to ask.
Enjoy the show!